Funeral traditions are as diverse as the cultures of the world. For example, Tibetan Buddhists believe that when a body dies the personality goes into a trance for four days. The person does not know they are dead, but they remain fully conscious. Buddhist monks believe they can communicate with the dead person during this time. Therefore, at a Buddhist funeral the family of the deceased will often pay the monks to talk with their loved ones on their behalf and to offer certain chants which will allow the dead person’s good energy to be released from their fading personality.
Scientologists believe that humans are immortal spirits, or “thetans,” who have lived many lifetimes on their journey through the universe. At a scientology funeral the thetan of the deceased person is directly addressed with the belief that they are still present in an unseen form. Those attending the funeral will thank the deceased for spending time with them, acknowledge the person’s achievements, and wish the person well on future journeys and luck in future incarnations.
Funeral traditions range from the strange to the mundane, but they all act as scribes recording the things people value most. Funerals, more than almost any other event, capture what people believe about the meaning of life. Perhaps this is why funerals have always fascinated me. After all, Solomon said it is “better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for that is the end of all men; and the living will take it to heart” (Eccl. 7:2). There is so much to learn about life at a funeral. Funerals in America today are telling us that things are changing in what people perceive to be the meaning of life. They reveal that most people value earthly achievements more than eternal destinies, that we are people-focused rather than God-focused.
Before I go any further I want to acknowledge that there is no Biblical pattern for how to do a funeral (or that we should even have one), and I’m not suggesting that one tradition is superior to another. Neither do I intend to be insensitive to anyone’s feelings about this highly emotional topic. I do want us to consider how funerals express our values. As believers, who we value most is Jesus. He has “come to have first place in everything” to us (Col. 1:18 NASB). So it makes sense we would invite our Lord into how we do funerals.
God Is The Most Important One At a Funeral
May I suggest that this begins by making God a significant part of our funerals? It is popular today for funerals to mainly be a time for friends and family to tell stories about the person who died. This is certainly appropriate and can bring great comfort to those who mourn. In fact, when I participate in a funeral I often highlight the noble characteristics of the person who died as a pattern worthy of our imitation (Phil. 3:17). However, if the greatest goal of one’s life is to glorify God, then shouldn’t God receive the highest praise when a person dies? Jeremiah wrote,
“Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight,” says the Lord (Jer. 9:23–24; 1 Cor. 1:31).
The reason God is playing a lesser part in our funerals today could be due to the fact that He is playing a lesser part in our lives. It is very telling that at Saul’s “funeral” David had a lot of nice things to say about Saul, but David didn’t mention God once (2 Sam. 1:17–27). He couldn’t, because Saul did not value God.
As believers we should gladly affirm that the whole of life is bound up in the creative power and purposes of God. All life sprang from Him and is destined to return to Him and, therefore, should be lived for Him. Why? Because life continues beyond the grave. There will be a resurrection and a judgment—our resurrected Lord Jesus has proven it!
These beliefs are precious to us. It seems only right that they would comfort our hearts and inform our faith at our most intense moments of grief. The gracious Father who gave us life deserves to be honored when that life passes from this earth. We are not like the Scientologist who sees nothing greater than the “spirit” of the person. We know the God who created the person, who saved the person, who provided for the person, and who will judge the person. He is the most glorious One at a funeral. It seems best then to read from His word, pray for His help, and praise His name (1 Thess. 4:18). At a funeral people should be remembered, and God should be worshipped.
God’s Word Should Be Honored At a Funeral
When we find ourselves worshipping God at a funeral, we need to remember that His word should still govern our worship. I understand that many funerals are not in a church building and are not considered part of “the assembly;” however, when God’s word is read, hymns are sung, and prayers are offered, they should be in accordance with the word of the Lord. We are not free to dream up our own methods of worship just because we are not in a church building at “the appointed time.”
I was asked to participate in a funeral in which a family member wanted to have a lady lead in prayer and another woman lead the group in singing “Amazing Grace” accompanied by an organ. When I spoke to her about God’s will for worship, her first response was, “Well, it isn’t in the building, so I didn’t think it would make any difference.” She continued her effort to persuade by saying, “This would be a perfect time to show the community that the church of Christ isn’t stuck up about instrumental music.”
Christians are often put in difficult positions in which their participation in a funeral would cause them to violate their understanding of God’s word. In such cases, we should have a genuine compassion for those who are grieving. Their hurt should resonate in our own hearts. Yet, we cannot violate God’s will.
I believe funerals in our day need the Lord’s presence. People are not helped by ignoring Him. For example, I read a Peanuts cartoon in which Lucy is looking out the window at a violent rainstorm and says, “Boy, it’s raining hard. What if it floods the whole world?” Linus replies, “That can’t happen. God promised in Genesis 9 that He would never again flood the whole earth, and He put the rainbow in the sky as a promise.” Lucy says, “Thanks. That takes a load off my mind.” Linus answers, “Sound theology has a way of doing that.” Inviting God to a funeral is the only way to truly give hope and peace to those who grieve (1 Thess. 5:11).
Similar Posts:
- Delighting In God / March 5, 2009 / Todd Stickler
- God Is Good / February 28, 2009 / Todd Stickler
- How We Can Encourage Others / March 5, 2009 / Todd Stickler
